What comes across very clearly is the author’s unwillingness to pass judgment. I’m a terrible wife for sleeping with another man. I’m a terrible mother for leaving my kids’ father and other father. If anyone’s gonna kill themselves it should be me. Ironically, it is Yoli whose life is more of a failure (111): She asks why Elf suffers from such fathomless sadness (90 – 91):ĭid Elf have a terminal illness? Was she cursed genetically from day one to want to die? Was every seemingly happy moment from her past, every smile, every song, every heartfelt hug and laugh and exuberant fist-pump and triumph, just a temporary detour from her innate longing for release and oblivion? One of the things Yoli tries to understand is why Elf cannot be happy since her life is seemingly perfect: she is beautiful, she is beloved by many, she has financial security, and she even has world-wide acclaim because of her talent as a pianist.
The book is an examination of the many emotions Yoli experiences: sorrow, confusion, guilt, anger, fear, and frustration. She desperately wants her sister to live though she knows that her sister wants, just as desperately, to die. Yoli is the narrator her conflict is trying to determine how to help her older sister who has repeatedly attempted suicide. The novel focuses on Yolandi (Yoli) and Elfrieda (Elf), two sisters. Though emotionally raw at times, it also has wonderful comic moments, and in its examination of suicidal depression and its effects on the family of those afflicted, it is amazing. Now that I’ve finally read it, I am not sorry I did. I resisted reading it because of its sad and serious subject matter. This book was on my to-read pile for quite a long time.
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